![]() Consequences - like removing recess or doing extra written work - have been imposed by well-meaning teachers who want to motivate him to get his work done, as they request of all their students. My son - age 14, diagnosed with ADHD, autism, dysgraphia, and anxiety - is often told to “try harder” in school. It’s important to your parenting effectiveness and your child’s success and happiness. Read that a few more times and let it sink in. When good intentions aren’t aligned with a child’s capability and reality, the outcome is the opposite of what was intended. ![]() These differences require parents and teachers to adjust, not spend more time trying to make the child fit into a box of our own making. Teachers: if you’re teaching seventh graders, this student is really on par with fourth or fifth graders in many areas. Think about that for a minute: If your child is 13, you’re actually raising a 10-year-old in many aspects. Your child is likely behind his or her peers by two or three or four years in many aspects of development, including maturity, self-regulation, and life skills. The reality is that your child (or your student) has ADHD - a physiological difference in the brain that leads to developmental delay. However, good intentions can often go awry, especially when they’re not aligned with reality. Those are all admirable intentions, and they usually inspired by genuine caring. The intention of well-meaning adults is to help our kids follow rules, meet expectations, be accepted by their peers, and succeed. This is problematic for kids with ADHD (and/or autism, learning disabilities, and so on). Nearly every adult in the life of a child with ADHD tries to push these kids into the box. And that expectation is often followed by, “all else be damned,” unfortunately.Īs parents of kids who don’t fit the norm, our instinct is to push and shove our kids into the tiny box, even though they don’t fit into it. Yet we expect kids to “fall in line” and fit into the crowd. It’s no secret that kids with ADHD are different - different from their same-age peers different from society’s definition of “normal ” different from most teachers’ expectations of a successful student.
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